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The girl, Nicole. Born 12081988 to be a leo. Studying at NP>BFS. She loves to eat,♥ especially cupcakes and dark chocolates.♥She loves to shop. She loves to talk.♥She love her dar dar,Phua Cheng Yi.♥♥♥ She loves and she just loves them all! (:
Shifted.
Bye!
Feel so sick these days.. My cough isn't getting any better.. Sigh..
Ever since the first week of work till now, I can't believe that my cough isn't getting any better and I've been having medication for 3 weeks! The sight of those pills and cough syrup really makes me feel even worst.
Poor boyfriend has been having bad cough ever since he came back from his thai detachment. Tsk tsk tsk... Those PILES of snacks and tibits that he has bought for me has been left untouched due to my bad cough. =((
Work has been great lately, especially when I get the hands of some stuffs. Feels that I'm like a sponge, do nothing but trying hard to absorb as much as possible each day. haha. At least, I truly enjoy what I'm doing now even though I still land myself in a BANK. Basically facing lots of financial statements which goes to say since the start of my day.. it's all BALANCE SHEET and I&E Statements tada tada all the way till the end of my day.. haha.
Well.. I'm tired. That's all about it today. =))
It has been almost 2 mths ever since my last entry.
Major changes in life but I would say it's certainty a path that I've never looked back and regret upon. =)
For the past 1 mth, there goes my boyfriend for his detachment. And it's certainly not an easy one month for me. It was during this period of time, I've to get over the previous withdrawal issue and straight away get into job hunting around. Anyway I'm gonna save up on elaborating anything more about this. All I can say it, there's various perspective to a situation. Thus I've decided to save all these up for myself to avoid the watever blah blah blah frm the others.
In which.. it's the same reason why I refuse to blog anything (simply not a single thing) about how I felt when my bf is away for his detachment. For the same reason, I'm really sick n truly tired about the various comment I recieved from the others. Well.. be it an encouragement or some other ignorant remarks.. ... ... ... Sigh.. I really really don't know how to say this but yea.. I'm truly sick of all these.
I'm glad that my boyfriend is back with me. During this 1 mth, it's not easy but I've realised a lot and have learnt a few lessons also.
Anyway.. I'm very contented with my current life now. I love my job and likes my colleagues and working environment. =)
That's all abt it.
ma decision dans le vie
After days of consideration, I've decided to face the music. It's tough to bring this topic up in my blog. Some may sympathise me, some may just wanna know abt it then go ard gossiping abt it, some may be laughing hard deep down in their stomach, some may think I'm silly and stupid, some may.... There's just so many ways each and everyone would react and I can't really pen them all down.
WHATEVER IT IS. THIS IS MY LIFE. THIS IS MY DECISION. I PUT MYSELF AS THE PRIORITY. I DO WHAT I THINK WOULD BE BEST FOR ME. NO ONE CAN DECIDE AND NO ONE SHALL COMMENT OR RATHER NO ONE HAS THE RIGHT TO COMMENT AND LAUGH AT ME. SIMPLY BECAUSE IT HAS NOTHING GOT TO DO WITH YOU. IT HAS NO IMPACT AT ALL IN YOUR LIFE.
Be my guest and read this post. Save your comments for yourself. I don't need anyone to sympathise me neither do I need you sarcastic comments. I don't need your advises or concern, I've true friends and my beloved family around me to support me. Just save it. Simply because you're never the someone to comment, you're never in your life be in my position. Pardon me for my hostile words.
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It's a tough decision. However there's no turning point now. I've withdraw from SMU on 24 August 2009 (Mon). It's a torturing process to come up to this decision. Many may think how come I'm so silly to withdraw. Perhaps to you, it's SMU. The brand. The recognition. Of course, I'm proud and happy that I can get in SMU. It's my dream school. It's the university that I've always wanted to get in. If I've the strength... If I can do it... If I can pull myself through, I swear I would definitely not let it goes off my hands. Certainly I would hold it tight, cherish the opportunity and hopefully be a SMU grad.
It's really sad to say this. I've failed.. I've failed to pull myself through. It's really stressful. My 1st week of school is really an eye-opening experience for me. Not only do I suffered from cultural shock but I'm tortured by the stress level. Life in SMU is truly very competitive. As compared to poly, I done the additional 100%. I put in my 200% efforts to read up all the required readings, prepared myself for the lessons. However it doesn't really aid me much. I would still end up leaving the seminar rooms feeling upset that I'm only 40% sure of the profs are saying. 40% is considering a rather comforting day for me. It's even more upset if I only understand 10-20% after the 3hrs seminar. This is SMU unique pedagogy. The cultural to groom outspoken individuals.
As an introvert, I tried to speak up during seminars. Class participation can be as high as 40% with teaching assistant in almost every class to take note of your class participation, whether you participated in class etc. It's never an easy one to participate by saying yes or no or giving short answers to think you've participated. It's really about the QUALITY of what you says rather than the QUANTITY. Indeed a cultural shocking moments for me.
Readings wasn't easy. As compared to the JC peeps, my command of English is never comparable to theirs. Checking of dictionary, understanding my content isn't enough, research and contribute in class. The depth of research, it is something that I can never gauge how much would be sufficient to aid me to participate in class. Some brought in aliens information that wasn't in the text, I'm lost and even lost if another one brought in his/hers. The stress level is always there, I could hardly breathe. Whenever I've the time, I would be reading and reading. No time to even see my students' assignments. Everything seems to be piling up each day.
I thought... IS this kind of teaching style gg to benefit me? Would I be able to perform under such situation? Initially I decided to give myself 1 term to test on to see if I can adapt. However, I'm so afraid that I would regret the 2 or 3 weeks and starts questioning myself why did I choose this? I knew myself very well. To study in SMU is because of its branding and recognition and ultimately it would allows me to net a higher pay. However if I can't pull through yet still chose to clinch hard onto the brand, it's not gg to get me to anywhere. SMU grad with a GPA of 2.0 and below???
I may be feeling upset now that I've given this opportunity away. That's because I knew very clearly that I want the branding more than anything else. However, I won't want to waste my time and money after 1 term there when I know I would probably be giving up each day. My attitude towards the workload and stress would probably be positive now but under the environment with increasing stress and workload, I doubt I would still stay positive and determined.
Hence I've decided to withdraw which is a better choice for me. Despite that I almost teared during the interview regarding my withdrawal, I still decided to let it go and pursue my next direction in life. During the interview, all my heart-felt words had flooded my eyes in front of the officer when he asked if I know what I'm doing and if I'm really sure about withdrawing from SMU considering the fact that it would tough for me to enter again as I've to go through the usual admission interviews next year or so. I teared because I felt that I'm incompetent, I'm upset with myself that i can't pull myself through this tough environment and why can't I just absorb faster, read faster, analyse faster than my peers.
There's no turning point now. I've weight the factors and I know which direction would be a better choice for me. I never regret this decision and I'm going to live to the fullest in the next direction in life. After all it's pointless to cry over spilled milk. Hence I'm gg to put in my 100% effort in everything I do, regardless in work or studies again.
Simply because I'm the one who made this decision myself, I've consider every single factors logically during the decision making process. Hence I never regret what I've done. I must do a better job to prove that I've made the correct choice for myself. Regretting would not makes me feel better nor would it gives me the degree for free. Instead of doing so, why don't I channel my energy and time now to think of what I should in the next direction in life and do a better job to show myself and my family that I've made a wise decision.
Be it a wise decision or not, it's up to me to decide.
If I decided to cry over the spilled milk for the rest of my life, harping on the same issue that why am I so incompetent to pull through etc.. Certainly I would not be able to find a better direction in life, remaining in my current state, refuse to move forward to find my new goals and directions is certainly gg to land me in a real disappointing state.
However I'm not going to do that! Instead, I'm gg to encourage myself, pull myself up from where I've fall to move forward bravely, channel all my time and energy to find the new directions in life and do it well, put in my 100%! The time when I look back, I would have find this a wise decision made.Etre Courageux. Etre Positif. Etre Heureux. Une decision sage dans la vie.
Tml's Convocation!
Sigh. It's gonna be a long session, 1230hrs all the way to 1630hrs. To think of it has already made me starts to think of tons of excuses not to go. Yet it's a grand ceremony to mark the beginning of my uni life. Sigh.
Some major changes in my life soon:
- Back to School Life
- My dear boy is leaving for detachment 2 weeks later and will be away for 1 mth.
(I really hope time could fly quickly at the blink of my eyes. So that I can he can be back by my side again.)
I really hate to face separation. Despite the buckets of tears that I've contributed over the months whenever I think of his detachment and our separation, it still quite tough for me to accept the fact that he'll not be by my side for one month. Nevertheless I've been doing pretty well lately. Whenever we talked abt his detachment, I seems to be quite alright. Like it's a fact, I can't do anything about it. Perhaps I'm just getting a bit emotional when I think of him leaving me in just 2 weeks time.
Well.. I shall braced myself to face this separation with belief that days would passed by quickly.
After coming back from Tioman, I'm still not very used to not seeing you by my side. I missed the days when I turn to my left/right, I'll kissed and hugged, showered with all your love.
I'm back from Tioman. Extremely nice and relaxing trip! I'll soon post an entry on my Tioman trip once I got the pix done. THANKS PEOPLE FOR THE BIRTHDAY WISHES! Anyway... I managed to spot my dear boy on NDP show that day!! Woo~ So excited. Lol! Here's showing him at NDP on Channel 5 TV broadcast!
(I dun care, you better bring it there and place it on your bed or wherever ppl can see it. Don't try to keep it inside your bags.. Bleh!)HAPPY 44TH BIRTHDAY to SINGAPORE!
I'm definitely going to watch the livecast later to see if I can spot my dear boy (yes.. I've yet to give up despite I didn't spot him at NEShow 3. Arghh..)
Alright! I'll be gg off soon in abt 15-16hrs time for my Birthday Trip! Weee~
Ytd was a big shopping day for us. Went to Bugis Street (Lvl 2) to buy my bikini at BELLA KINI. It's highly recommended! The design there are nice and prices are really afforable. However you can choose to shop at the outlet in Illuma but I think besides these 2 outlets, they still have others outlets as well. Hmmm.. Went to shop at De' Corsets (Bugis Street - Boom Boom Street) also. As recommended by the forum. The design are really nice!
Talk abt Corsets, some gals do have the mindsets that Corsets are for bedroom wear... However if you've a chance to see the design and the shoplady, probably you would starts to see a different world.
Anyway was at STRIP (Ministry of Waxing) @ THE CATHAY ytd with my dear boy. And... he caught these for me! It's really fun cause we spent like abt 7 dollars to catch the lil DOMO KUN and he spent 20 over dollars to catch the big DOMO KUN. He's obessed with catching these dolls at times.. simply because he find DOMO KUN cute and was determined to catch the big DOMO KUN so the lil one can be hug by the big one. Hmmm.. so by luck, he managed to catch the big one using the very last dollar left in his palm. 
My family has expanded. Thanks to my dear boy. DOMO KUN will be coming with us for the trip and DOMO KUN will be acc him to his one mth Thai Detachment.
